雅思大作文 求指正

1. 雅思大作文 求指正

Good writing, structure!!!

Nowadays, distance-learning programs are such common thing for us (the study material by past, by interest), but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as these by attending college or university in person.
Nowadays, distance-learning programs have become common ways of learning. However,  some people are still doubt about them and argue that remote learning courses can never achieve better effect than attending college or university to get lectures face to face.

To what extent do you agree or disagree? (This is not necessary as you are not making presentation to raise listeners' attention)
delete this sentence.

Distance-learning is pervasive and persuasive for its efficiency and low cost, while in most counties, face to face taught by teachers is still the main trend of study.
Although distance-learning is pervasive and persuasive for its low cost , face to face taught by teachers is still the main forms of learning in many countries.

Should we alter the means of learning and replace the tele-education of the classroom? From most people, the answer is definitely no and so do I.
Should we alter the means of learning and replace the tele-education with classroom lecture? For most people, the answer is definitely no, and for me the same.
(are you sure you are in favour of tele-education? read the following paragraphes)
To begin with, even though with the advent of distance learning, more students can study at home and their schedules become flexible due to they can book the class they need, teachers can provide us with something special which cannot be obtained by distance-learning.
(Are you sure you come back to talk about the disadvantages of tele-education?)
Although more students can stay at home to learn their courses through reading on-line teaching material and their schedules can be very flexible, sometime there are certain drawbacks as teachers can provide us with something special that cannot be obtained by distance-learning.


From my experience, the matters I learn from my teacher are not only knowledge, but also about how to be a useful social member, how to confront with troubles, how to cheer up even when you fail for thousands of times. 
Based on my experience, I believe what I learn from my teacher are not only pure scientific knowledge, but also the knowledge about how to grow up to become a person can contribute to our society, how to face  dificulties, problems and failures, and how to cheer up even when you fail for thousands of times. 

All the thing above can only be learned from the experience we get along with our teacher.
All the above mentioned can be better learned by attending face to face lecture because you have more chance to learn by observing teachers' work, the ways and attitude they deal with others.

Moreover, we are also influenced gradually by teachers.

Socrates generated the novel philosophy thinking from his teacher, Pluto.
Socrates got the novel philosophy thinking based on his learning from his teacher, Pluto. 

King Alexander learned the way to manage a country from Aristotle. 

All the celebrities have a teacher who can enlighten their mind and become their guider, partner. 
All the celebrities have a teacher who can enlighten their mind and become their personal tutors.
In this sense, teachers are more than an individual who imparts knowledge.
In this sense, a teacher is more than a person who imparts knowledge.

From another side, tele-education can only work on the computer. 
On the other hand, with tele-education you can only work on the computer.

For students, sitting a long-time in front of the computer and watching the screen preoccupationally may cause physical hazards, such as eyestrain, wrist and neck pain. 
For students, sitting a long-time in front of computer and watching the screen preoccupationally may cause physical problem, such as eyestrain, wrist and neck pain. (they are not harzards yet)

Moreover, studying alone, without the company of peers, the child has lost a golden chance to enhance their social skill and they may be hard to be sociable,extroverted and generous in adulthood. 
Moreover, studying alone with no companion of peers, children may lose a golden chance to enhance their social skills and become uneasy to be sociable, extroverted and generous in adulthood. 
What I want to say is that distance-learning and schooling should never be contradictory to each other, they can work mutually. (the two forms of learning can only coexist, they cannot work mutually as they don't have lives)
My opinion is that distance-learning can be a good way of learning but classroom learning should never be totally replaced. 

Distance-learning is a complementary path to promote students' academic performance, whereas schooling is the predominate way of studying.

Distance-learning is a complementary way to enhance students' academic performance, whereas schooling is still the irreplaceable education form at the moment, especially for young pupils.

2. 雅思小作文求修改！急~

The first picture shows the life circle for silkworm and the second one tells the process of silk cloth making. I will illustrate the details in the subsequent paragraphs. 
	In the first part, mother moth would lay eggs on leaves and eggs become silkworm larva which feed on mulberry leaves within ten days’ hatching. After four to six weeks, larva would make silk thread to cover them. It only takes three to eight days for them to become a cocoon.  Finally, the next generation of moth will come out from cocoon after sixteen days. 
	In order to produce silk cloth, people would select nice cocoons first, and then put them in boiled water. Next, each cocoon would be unwound into 300-900m length of thread. Every three threads were twisted as one and dyed color or these threads were weaved into silk cloth and dyed at last. 
	In conclusion, this whole picture shows the complete process of production from silk thread to cloth.
我尽力了 不喜勿喷

3. 雅思大作文求范文！

你好，很高兴为你解答。
雅思大作文写作模板：
   开头段：两句话
1 转述原文
The issue of increasingly longer life span is of much contention to the general public.
2 提出文章要探讨的内容
Therefore, this essay aims to identify the possible effects that this change has brought to both individuals and society.
中间段：
建议写三段
两种处理方式：第一种先写两点对于个人的影响，再写对于社会的。
第二种先写寿命长对于个人和社会好的影响，再写坏的影响。
结尾段
1 总结文章影响
Therefore, although senior citizens might, to some extent, deprive the younger   generation of their job opportunities, they tend to enlighten the whole society with their experience and care.
2 提出建议（主要针对年轻人）
Therefore, the youth are suggested to confront this situation. If they could not be offered the opportunities, it would prove that they were not so capable as the old generation, when the only way out was to learn from old people and try to gain more experiences.
希望可以帮到你！政府应该鼓励工业和商业,搬出大城市和区域性地区。在什么程度上你认为其优势大于劣势

4. 求高手帮助批改雅思作文~~~

我来吧，哥就教这个。
词句：
1.Economic改成economy

2. No one can promise that they will never get ill since they live healthy
since改成as long as
3.many other infections which could not overcome by healthy lifestyle
could not be overcome by..
4. there will be more people suffer it or even die.
中国考生典型的错误。
there be do 这个是大忌
suffer改成suffering
5. by taking benefits from their own knowledge
这个不通
6. take a treatment by themselves, especially for serious ill
这句话也不通
文章整体还行，观点很明确，在第一段提出，中间两段进一步解释。
考官不会看的这么细的，像模像样就会给你个7分。
你的重点也很突出就是政府光把钱投在促进健康的生活方式上是远远不够的，在治疗病人方面也的花钱，这是你论点的倾向性，你也花了很多笔墨。这个是绝对有必要的。
感觉你像上过培训课的。
考试的时候就这么写是可以了，注意一些低级的语法错误，可以拿到更高的分数。

5. 求雅思大作文一篇！

主观点：不同意

论据：1.同男性相比，女性的同情心较强，在处理一些问题时不够理性。
      2.同男性相比，女性的体能较差（可以举运动员的例子，同一项目，男运动员的最优成绩要比女运动员的最优成绩好）。
     3.如果一名女性想成为一名军人，那么她要付出比男性更多的努力（或者可以理解为一名优秀的女军人和男军人没有实质的差别）。

同时，在结尾处提一下现代社会男女平等，所以女性也应该有同男性一样参军、参与军事活动的权利。

觉得可以不要忘记给好评

祝雅思考试顺利：）

6. 求雅思大作文范文参考

网上有很多雅思作文范文，同学们在备考雅思写作部分的时候也很喜欢背诵范文，把这些范文套用到自己的写作当中，但是范文背得多，也不一定能帮助你得高分。

7. 请各位帮我改一下雅思作文吧~

题目是目前很多发展中国家都在expand their tourism industry。请说明理由。并评论这个现象positive or not。

作文

In contemporary age and society, many developing countries are //exploiting at a large spectrum of //用法有问题their tourism attractions//可以去掉spectrum那个错误的词组,在句尾加 to the full. There is/are a considerable number of tourism/tourist resources in some developing countries, such as sunshine and beaches in Malaysia. As more and more countries pay their attention on/to the tourism industry and actively expand it, tourism income //contributes a heavy/high percentage//搭配很别扭,take up....in... to their GNPs. This phenomenon is attribute/d to several reasons/整句写法别扭,可改为.....is  mainly attributed to the following reasons.
The most manifest and significant reason for the /tourist expansion is that the tourism affects /directly on/删 the economy/ies 注意单复数 of the countries /directly. With the/删 gradually/gradual这里需要的是形容词 perfection of global transporting/删ing conditions and the/删 constant construction of the /删 学会冠词的用法很重要  其实很难 主要靠长期阅读积累local infrastructure, massive//用这个词来形容人很好笑,不是多是巨大粗大的意思 foreign tourists travel abroad to enjoy their vacations. They stay in the/删 local hotels and consume commodities; thus, the local tourism revenue ascends/这个词没错,用的很怪,你见过有老外这样用过?收入增长用increase grow go up rise都可以 and the economy progress//??这个progress是动词还是名词? as well. The mechanism /plays exactly in the governments’ hands/完全没有这样的搭配用法. Besides, as is well-known, it needs numerous manual labors to fulfill its demand as the tourism industry is classified to/as介词搭配也很重要 the Third Industry/第三产业英文是tertiary industry , which mainly offers services. This, to the governments’ satisfaction, alleviate the /high incidence of unemployment. Farther speaking, it helps stabilize the society. What’s more, most of the tourism projects are eco-friendly(that is precisely the reason why it is called green economy.) and low-cost. Therefore, for many developing countries which are afflicted with financial problems, the expanding/expansion is painless and productive.
However, everything should be controlled /in a limited boundary/还是搭配的问题....should be under strict control. Overly/这是个副词 over expansion results in disasters. In spite of the above-mentioned advantages, the undue exploit/exploitation and development has grave detrimental impact on the/删 environment. Some tourism spots are under poor administration. The misbehaver/misbehaviors of the tourists are not held out//你用这个词组想说什么?是stop之类的意思么? in time, which may lead to the deteriorate/这是个动词 of the/删 local ecosystem. For instance, there was once a horrible forest fire in the Great Mountain//这是哪里? in Northern China caused by a tourist who threw his lighting/lighted cigarette//to .... /without putting it out/删,多余. The tragedy is well/还是搭配不对very/quite/highly likely to happen again if the/删 managers pay insufficient attention to necessary scrutiny//完全是胡乱的搭配,结果就是让稍有水平的读者读起来如鲠在喉别扭至极. More worryingly, some developing countries expand the natural resources at random instead of planning carefully ahead  /of time according to the/删 environment condition. It is absolutely stupid and short-sighted.
In a/删 conclusion, therefore, the tourism industry benefits the less developed countries, but the authorities must make a long-term plan and get a clear perspective on the current situation so that they could expand/exploit the precious resources in harmony/harmonious ways.
 
399个单词。 

得分约在5分左右. 

一篇文章其实是最能反映一个人的语言水平的. 这篇文给人的感觉是满目疮痍,东拼西凑,词不达意.虽然试图堆积辞藻,但毕竟水平有限,英语又很讲求搭配和用法的严谨,所以纵使大词猛句却难得高分.另外雅思大作文250词,最好精益求精,多写不会多得分,反会加大失分概率.

作者现在最需要做的不是大量的写,而是多看英语原版杂志如economist, business weekly 等等,或者上网看英语国家的门户网站如yahoo.com等等,多多积累些语言素材先, 杜甫 说读书破万卷，下笔如有神,用在雅思写作上也是同个道理.

还有疑问百度hi我,希望对你有所帮助.继续加油.

8. 雅思大作文思路求助！！

我说中文好理解一点，实在懒得打英文了
原因：
1、经济因素，释放以后没有合适的工作，得不到应有的收入，只能在此走上犯罪道路
2、社会因素，很多人不能包容刑满释放人员，对他们排斥，融不到社会中只能选择报复社会
3、个人因素，在监狱中反而学到一些负面东西，没有真正认识自己的错误，出狱后继续犯罪
解决：
1、监狱中开设政治教育、心理教育等
2、出狱后政府提供帮助，给予工作等
3、社会宣传，让大多数人接受出狱人员，要宽容对待他们